Funny Retirement Statis for Facebook for Work

36 Funny Retirement Quotes

Bring a smile to the retiree's face with these funny retirement quotes. Humourous words and funny phrases about retirement but ones full of wisdom to inspire and encourage! Share these funny quotes and sayings with new and old retirees!

No more alarm clocks for you - you can go back to sleep or get up - it is entirely up to you!
Quote of The Day
"Working people have alot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." Clarence Darrow
Work
"I am so busy since I have retired, I may have to go back to work to get a rest." Uncle Dude
Inspirational Quotes
Strategic retirement plan: rest, relax, repeat.
Relax
What do you call a person who is happy on Monday?
Retired.
Monday
"We have no porch, no rocking chair - and no time. My biggest need is a calendar because there are so many things to do. Maurice Musholt
Time
"I'm not retiring. I am graduating. Today is my graduation day. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain't going to happen." Junior Seau
Graduation
Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it. Abigail Charleson
Funny
Retirement . . . is when you stop living at work and begin working at living.
Live Life
"The money's no better in retirement but the hours are!"
Money
Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home, forever." Gene Perret
Famous Quotes
"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." Robert Half
Funny Work Quotes
Happiness is being like you - retired! Catherine Pulsifer
Happiness
Others will keep working because the "gold" in our so-called "golden years" doesn't have to come from watching sunsets. Arianna Huffington
Words of Encouragement
"I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Danny McGoorty
Job
I am a free man. I feel as light as a feather. Javier Perez De Cuellar
Freedom
"Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it."
"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles." Doug Larson
Worry
You can compare a person's retirement partly to that of an automobile's or any other device. There comes a time when you have to slow down or completely stop doing what you've been doing for the past 20 or 30 years and take a well-deserved break." Adrian J.Williams, Retirement: The Ultimate Retirement Planning Guide!
Take A Break
"The old notion of retirement is dead. It is no longer a day in the distant future when, on reaching your sixty-fifth birthday, you hang up your suit and never return to the office again." Martin Bamford, How to Retire 10 Years Early
Future
"When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." R.C. Sherriff
Funny Quotes about Life
"When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income." Chi Chi Rodriguez
Husband
"Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working."
Time Management
"I work harder now that I have retired from corporate life, than when I actually worked, but I love it." Catherine Pulsifer
Cute Quotes
"There is no need to be bound by convention, push the envelope, do it weird, do it different, but most of all do it fun! Be that cigar chomping rock''n'roll granny if it takes your fancy." Stella Rheingold, 101 Fun Things to do in Retirement
Grandmother
"A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell 'em to get a life." Larry Laser
Complaining
You are a person I really admire, because you are a person who gets to retire.
Daily Motivation
"Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money." Jonathan Clements
Vacation
Retirement: World's longest coffee break.
Inspirational Sayings
"Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache unless you play golf." Gene Perret
Stress
We no longer follow traditional retirement models. We have rebelled against them. Margaret Nash, The Retirement Rebel
Top 10 Quotes
Goodbye to 9 to 5. Hello, time!
Goodbye
"You've heard of the three ages of man: Youth, middle age, and you're looking wonderful." Cardinal Spellman
Age
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
Short Quotes
"Retirement is still a perfectly good word, but we need to rein in its usage now that its original meaning is no longer all that relevant because people are living longer, healthier, more active lives." Mike Drak, Victory Lap Retirement
Positive
"Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not." Richard Armour
Funny Sayings